Ping-pong balls
[From IRC.]
The Cast:
Pete - A nerd. Married. American. Cat lover.
Jenny - A nerd. Attached. European. Cat lover.
Hans - A nerd. Attached. European.
Tim - a nerd. Married. Canuck. Cat lover.
—-
Pete: living together for a while and then living apart for a while sucks
Jenny: yes it does
Pete: I had to play that game for three years, courtesy of US immigration
Hans: Pete: during this time, how was the sex life, compared to now?
Pete: non existent for six months at a time
Jenny: no web cam?
Pete: gross
Pete: I am a good christian
Pete: anyway it put a huge amount of strain on our relationship
Jenny: I bet
Pete: “why didn’t you call me last night” etc etc etc
Pete: however it did let me work whatever hours I wanted
Hans: what, no erotic novels written to each other? no dirty phone phone calls?
Jenny: no “I had this awesome dream about you last night ..”
Jenny: ?
Jenny ducks fast and runs
Pete: you europeans are freaky
Tim: hey, I go off for some sushi and you guys get all freaky sexy without me.
Hans: freaky, or sexy?
Tim: bow chicka
Pete: was more like “why didn’t you call me, why don’t you love me, blah blah blah”
Pete: all that shit went away when we got married + immigration stuff got settled
Hans: that sounds awesome and erotic
Pete: yeah, sexy nagging
Tim: my wife and I don’t do well when one of us is away for a weekend. I can’t imagine 6mos at a time.
Hans: maybe we should adopt that
Jenny: nagging can be sexy?
Hans: Jenny: NO!
Hans: unless she has a paddle in her hand, then it might be
Tim: no no no
Tim: not that, either.
Tim: table tennis is not sexy.
Tim: nor canoeing.
Jenny: even blind fold?
Hans: Tim: sorry, then you haven’t done it right ;)
Pete: man you guys are weirdos
Tim: Sorry. Dark room, eyes closed, Mantovani LP spinning away. Like God intended.
Hans: trust me, it can be nice : )
Jenny wonders which kind of table tennis Hans means.
Jenny: Hans: not the one where the girl uses her pelvic floor instead of a bat I hope
Jenny: I don’t think that’s really sexy
Jenny: though kind of awesome that they can do that ..
Tim: But seriously, are any of you guys able to perform without a good BBC nature documentary playing in the background?
Jenny: Tim: or a good action movie with lots of people dying in it
Pete: the BBC nature documentary keeps the cats entertained
Tim: Jenny: is that even possible?
Jenny: Tim: They were showing it on the TV the other night as one of the 100 things to do before you die
Tim: Even my filthy, filthy imagination has trouble conjuring up that one.
Jenny: I was impressed at how far the ball was going
Jenny: but it did look like if someone batted the ball back, you couldn’t really do much about it
Hans: Jenny: uhm.. I meant paddle as in paddle, as in paddle? table tennis has a paddle.. which can be used..
Jenny: also ouch
Tim: taintball
Jenny: Hans: I know really. Apparently wooden spoons are better. Also the right kind of hairbrush
Jenny chuckles at Tim
Hans: pelvic floor instead of a bat?
Hans: you have me so confused I don’t know where to begin
Tim: my favourite is when my wife beats the shit out of me with a length of pvc drain pipe.
Jenny: sounds noisy
Jenny: wooomph
Tim: like blue man group music
Tim: but with only one note
Tim: <wooomph> ow! <wooomph> ow!<wooomph> ow! <wooomph> ow!<wooomph> ow!
Jenny: I’m too childish. I’d have to make hooting noises down it.
Tim: BWAH
Jenny: I used to do that as a kid..
Jenny: Hans: I’m not going to search for the video on someone else’s wifi .. sorry
Jenny: but she kind of was sitting on a seat, with both feet on the table tennis table
Jenny: the guy who was holding the bat on the other side was too distracted to actually return the ball though
Tim: I can imagine.
Jenny: so I guess I might actually win a game that way ..
Tim: So she was projecting the ball… uh… with her… uh. Oh my.
Tim blushes
Pete: sounds horrific
Jenny: I was just impressed at how far the ball was going
Tim: Do your kegels, kids.
Pete: SPEAKING OF PING PONG BALLS
Pete: I hear cats are supposed to go bonkers for ping pong balls
Pete: I have yet to try this
Jenny: yes
Jenny: my cat loves them
Jenny: I have had to put a couple in to hot water to make them pop back out into shape
Tim: Pete: it only works if you shoot them out your vagina.
Tim: (sorry)
Pete: god damn it
Tim: I said sorry
Pete: making me lol in the lab
Tim: but I didn’t really mean it.
Post with 3 notes
You win some, you lose some.
I’m wearing one of my loudest hawaiian shirts today. I just had this conversation a co-worker:
CW: nice shirt. </sarcasm>
Me: Thanks. I call this one “The Moisturizer.”
CW: I don’t get it.
Me: Ask your mom.
CW: Mom’s dead.
Me: …
Awkward.
Photo reblogged from Dave Atkinson with 3 notes
Look! It’s Maritime Canada as photographed from SPACE!
I first moved to this chunk of Earth a little more than 10 years ago. Here’s some of the lovely language I picked up in this place.
Fredericton 2002:
Nice place, Fredericton. That’s where I learned to breath in as I say the word “yup.” I call this the inhaled affirmative.
I also learned “very best”, which can mean anything from “thanks” to “yes” to “see you later, pal.”
Iqaluit 2003-2005:
Maybe not the Maritimes technically, but I learned some neat words here, too.
“Taima” is a handy word which means “all done,” “that’s it,” “see you.”
“Imaittuq” means “thinamajig” or “whatsit” or “thing I’m holding that I can’t remember the name of.” Totally useful word.
Saint John 2003-2007:
Here’s where I learned to use the words “some” and “right” as modifiers! As in, “It’s some rainy out” or “it’s right foggy.”
I also learned to effectively end sentences with prepositions. Why say “where are you?” when you can say “where are you at?” or more accurately, “where y’at?”
Sydney, Cape Breton 2007-2009:
Here’s where I learned that “Oh go ‘way!” means “Hey, that’s neat!” but “Go on with you!” means “Oh, go away.”
Also, call everyone dear, dear.
PEI 2009-present:
“Look at you!” means “hello!”
And it’s slippy, not slippery, fool.
Taima.
Photo reblogged from Stuff to Look At. with 108 notes
I hate religious conversations and debates. What is the point? Has anyone ever been argued into changing their religious beliefs or insulted into changing their mind?
I hate the Dallas Cowboys. Not a fan at all. If you sat me down and debated with me as to why I should like the Dallas Cowboys by giving me stats, wins, numbers, ect. I’m still not going to be a Cowboys fan. Why do people feel the same doesn’t apply to religious beliefs?
Let me make this clear, I don’t care what you believe as you shouldn’t care what I believe. This isn’t a forum or invitation to state beliefs. I just don’t understand why EVERYONE feels the need to insult other beliefs. If you want to pray to a taco I DON’T CARE, go worship a taco. Name your child taco. Wear a taco around your neck. TACO IT UP!
No one likes to be bullied by someone’s preference. Kirk Cameron is obnoxious and self righteous in how he presents his beliefs. Ricky Gervais is obnoxious and self righteous in how he presents his beliefs. Opposite beliefs, similar delivery. The guy in the tweet above doesn’t know me. He knows nothing about me and yet calls me unintelligent? It’s this kind of intolerance and stupidity that has created such a divide in our country. I’m not saying he’s a stupid person, just an uneducated, ignorant statement.
Having a belief doesn’t make you better or worse than anyone else. It’s what you do with that belief that makes you either amendable or insufferable.
Photo reblogged from Lost Provinces with 516 notes
Date unknown
(via changoblanco)
Source: Flickr / changoblanco
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