Pete - A nerd. Married. American. Cat lover.
Jenny - A nerd. Attached. European. Cat lover.
Hans - A nerd. Attached. European.
Tim - a nerd. Married. Canuck. Cat lover.
Pete: living together for a while and then living apart for a while sucks
Jenny: yes it does
Pete: I had to play that game for three years, courtesy of US immigration
Hans: Pete: during this time, how was the sex life, compared to now?
Pete: non existent for six months at a time
Jenny: no web cam?
Pete: I am a good christian
Pete: anyway it put a huge amount of strain on our relationship
Jenny: I bet
Pete: “why didn’t you call me last night” etc etc etc
Pete: however it did let me work whatever hours I wanted
Hans: what, no erotic novels written to each other? no dirty phone phone calls?
Jenny: no “I had this awesome dream about you last night ..”
Jenny ducks fast and runs
Pete: you europeans are freaky
Tim: hey, I go off for some sushi and you guys get all freaky sexy without me.
Hans: freaky, or sexy?
Tim: bow chicka
Pete: was more like “why didn’t you call me, why don’t you love me, blah blah blah”
Pete: all that shit went away when we got married + immigration stuff got settled
Hans: that sounds awesome and erotic
Pete: yeah, sexy nagging
Tim: my wife and I don’t do well when one of us is away for a weekend. I can’t imagine 6mos at a time.
Hans: maybe we should adopt that
Jenny: nagging can be sexy?
Hans: Jenny: NO!
Hans: unless she has a paddle in her hand, then it might be
Tim: no no no
Tim: not that, either.
Tim: table tennis is not sexy.
Tim: nor canoeing.
Jenny: even blind fold?
Hans: Tim: sorry, then you haven’t done it right ;)
Pete: man you guys are weirdos
Tim: Sorry. Dark room, eyes closed, Mantovani LP spinning away. Like God intended.
Hans: trust me, it can be nice : )
Jenny wonders which kind of table tennis Hans means.
Jenny: Hans: not the one where the girl uses her pelvic floor instead of a bat I hope
Jenny: I don’t think that’s really sexy
Jenny: though kind of awesome that they can do that ..
Tim: But seriously, are any of you guys able to perform without a good BBC nature documentary playing in the background?
Jenny: Tim: or a good action movie with lots of people dying in it
Pete: the BBC nature documentary keeps the cats entertained
Tim: Jenny: is that even possible?
Jenny: Tim: They were showing it on the TV the other night as one of the 100 things to do before you die
Tim: Even my filthy, filthy imagination has trouble conjuring up that one.
Jenny: I was impressed at how far the ball was going
Jenny: but it did look like if someone batted the ball back, you couldn’t really do much about it
Hans: Jenny: uhm.. I meant paddle as in paddle, as in paddle? table tennis has a paddle.. which can be used..
Jenny: also ouch
Jenny: Hans: I know really. Apparently wooden spoons are better. Also the right kind of hairbrush
Jenny chuckles at Tim
Hans: pelvic floor instead of a bat?
Hans: you have me so confused I don’t know where to begin
Tim: my favourite is when my wife beats the shit out of me with a length of pvc drain pipe.
Jenny: sounds noisy
Tim: like blue man group music
Tim: but with only one note
Tim: <wooomph> ow! <wooomph> ow!<wooomph> ow! <wooomph> ow!<wooomph> ow!
Jenny: I’m too childish. I’d have to make hooting noises down it.
Jenny: I used to do that as a kid..
Jenny: Hans: I’m not going to search for the video on someone else’s wifi .. sorry
Jenny: but she kind of was sitting on a seat, with both feet on the table tennis table
Jenny: the guy who was holding the bat on the other side was too distracted to actually return the ball though
Tim: I can imagine.
Jenny: so I guess I might actually win a game that way ..
Tim: So she was projecting the ball… uh… with her… uh. Oh my.
Pete: sounds horrific
Jenny: I was just impressed at how far the ball was going
Tim: Do your kegels, kids.
Pete: SPEAKING OF PING PONG BALLS
Pete: I hear cats are supposed to go bonkers for ping pong balls
Pete: I have yet to try this
Jenny: my cat loves them
Jenny: I have had to put a couple in to hot water to make them pop back out into shape
Tim: Pete: it only works if you shoot them out your vagina.
Pete: god damn it
Tim: I said sorry
Pete: making me lol in the lab
Tim: but I didn’t really mean it.
I’m wearing one of my loudest hawaiian shirts today. I just had this conversation a co-worker:
CW: nice shirt. </sarcasm>
Me: Thanks. I call this one “The Moisturizer.”
CW: I don’t get it.
Me: Ask your mom.
CW: Mom’s dead.